May 2013
7 posts
8 tags
10 tags
Sexy Hotel #2: Paris
Gay Paree;
La Marais – “Gay Paris”
Is one of the most affordable districts of the city.
That’s why we’re here
In the Hotel De Crumblefuck.
Interesting features of the local neighbourhood include:
The Musée Picasso, home of wildly moustached Dada-eccentricity.
The house of Nicolas Flamel. He died in about 1418. YOLO.
The Musée Cognacq-Jay, which contains a wide array of exceptional fine art and...
6 tags
4 tags
A countdown of J-Bieb's catchiest recent lyrics,...
1. “This is a codeine experiment, yo, codeine experiment”
2. “Baby, baby, baby killlller”
3. “I’m just a boy, with Playmobile hairrrrr”
4. “Selina, SELINA, I’ll NEVER let you go. Forever Jelinaaaa”
5. “Yo, TMZ, I am he, the hashtag Canadian-Crooner, one two three, ABC…”
6. “Got a toddler’s tiny body in my hashtag swag-bag”
7. “hashtag swaggytits”
8. “hashtag swagface”
9. “hashtag...
Michael Gove attacks use of Mr Men in iGCSE... →
Education secretary claims use of Mr Men characters to study Hitler is symptom of culture of low expectations
See my last entry.
14 tags
Revising and Exams: The Ugly Reality
As soon as the first hint of summer weather slants through England’s omnipresent cloud cover, everyone who should be irresponsibly barbecuing with me on the beach/in a stranger’s garden/illegally in a public park/anywhere with a small square of concrete, is too busy studying for exams.
Typically an early summer text-change will go:
Me: Hey! Fancy some fun in the sun this afternoon? Maybe a BBQ?...
2 tags
Lib Dem, who dem? Eight counties whose votes lead...
Right-Anti-Elitism-Fucking-Wing-Euroscepticshire
Lassaize-faireshire (I thought that was in France? IRONY)
Commonmansex (Who are all good until anyone gets married, and then their vote may sway)
Contradictionsex (voted for the same reasons as the above)
Wiltshire (“Retired half-colonels living on the edge of Salisbury plain”)
An unnamed county (whose population realized that Cameron was slimy...
April 2013
2 posts
Sexy Hotel #4: Conference.
You can almost smell the money.
Which is impressive, insular, stable.
European businessmen loiter in waiting,
For a conference,
Any conference,
To leak out from the differentiated-target-market sludge of analytical horse shit.
An odd choice of accommodation, sure,
But I saw a review on the internet which mentioned very good spa facilities.
Reception eyes her as if she’s a...
9 tags
Top Ten James Bond Films (which never made it into...
Diamonds Are For Christmas (and notable birthdays), But A Book Token Will Suffice.
YOLO: You Only Live Once.
Squidfanny
For Your Eyes Only* (FUN FACT: This film only took £6.59 at the UK box-office)
Pinkeye
Browneye
Tineye
Thunderball: Lotto Rollover
From Russia With Hugs
The World Is A Bit Too Much, Wales Will Do Ta.
*they made this one.
August 2012
1 post
May 2012
3 posts
March 2012
3 posts
WatchShort comedy by the ever-talented Madeleine Nurrish, which I co-wrote and acted in (I played the dog)
February 2012
1 post
January 2012
4 posts
Old, but brilliant.
December 2011
6 posts
WatchSoap is a feature film, currently in production in Bournemouth. Being shot on a tiny budget by a group of talented students, we’re 30 minutes through, and we need your help to keep filming this exciting and unique project! Please check out the facebook page for more details, thank you!!!! facebook.com/pages/Soap/221762254528441 follow us on Twitter @soap_film
WatchA short film what I’m in…. The disturbing facial hair was thanks to recording the part of crackhead drug dealer ‘Grotta’ for Soap the next day… Enjoy!! :)
November 2011
1 post
Watchmaxandmummy:
Max in a film :)
October 2011
2 posts
September 2011
15 posts
6 tags
Cleaning Out My Closet
In no sense as dramatically as Eminem did.
But yep, that’s what I was doing; having a look through my bedside drawer. And I unearthed some very interesting objects I didn’t realise I had in my possession, including several old photographs (some of the Year 9 French trip), a rejection note from a girl I fancied when I was about 13 and a variety of other treasures. May scan/upload a few...
August 2011
27 posts
Not The Adventures of Moleman: "It's Political... →
notmoleman:
The mantra of my nan. Her catchphrase. Today I heard this come tumbling from her lips. Did she mean it? Of course she did. But I believe she meant it because she had lied to herself so much she thought it was right.
This handy ickle sentence is, of course, the way in which he justifies the…
